Friday, September 12, 2014

YOLO has a sequel

YOLO 2 picks up right where the last one left us (FARK!!!). This is a return to form from the great Aussie animator Michael Cusack. I like to compare the guy to the late David Firth with his penchant for absurd stylings to create social commentary. He really hits the nail on the head when it comes to youthful Aussie schlock here.




Saturday, August 16, 2014

How to Talk Australians



G'DAY KNACKERS

Urban dictionary describes casual racism as;
The Act of being racist, casually.
Who would have guessed...

How To Talk To Australians is a short parody web series teaching an Indian call centre the importance of casual racism in the Australian lifestyle (that was the take home message, right?)
These important lessons in heritage and culture are directed by Tony Rogers, whom is responsible for bringing us the loveable Australian hallucination dog Wilfred
Watch as Indian teachers attempt to take apart Aussie culture and teach it to the uninformed, making Australians look like 100% weirdo jerks. 

I've linked the whole playlist of six very entertaining shorts because it's Saturday and you've got nothing better to do.

Do it.



Thursday, August 14, 2014

Actual Food Porn








If you use instagram you're guilty of producing 'Food Porn'. That is a FACT. Food erotica I.E. snaps of fancy muffins, well presented breakfasts and delicious dinners have plagued the inter webs in a range of insta filters for years now. It was only a matter of time before something like this was made.

Enjoy. Probs NSFW....It is porn after all.

Actual Food Porn from The Bold Italic on Vimeo.

The hashtag #foodporn has become one of the most prevalent of our time. Yet, most of the time, it's used to tag a photo of a semi-fancy looking meal just lying there on a plate, definitely not having sex with anything. Here's what actual food porn looks like.

Director: Andrew Callaway
Videographer: Gavin Murray
Producer/Set Design: Jessica Saia

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Turn Down For What? A Boner inducing music video.

I certainly wouldn't EVER encourage anyone to EVER listen to 
DJ Snake & Lil-all I do is scream shit-John but... The music
video to 'Turn Down For What' is bonerific. It has almost 100 million views!!! 
See it below these gifs. 






Thursday, August 7, 2014

That's America/Maccas home delivery in Australia/Chicken Nuggets


THAT'S AMERICA!

Let this video (below) wash over you like a warm, sticky sundae that's melted into you crotch after passing out to a (home delivered) Maccas feast . I hope you've enjoyed chicken nuggets recently.

This is our way of telling you that Mcdonalds will soon deliver in Australia (starting with Sydney)

Get naked. Watch this video art.



Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Birdman Official Trailer




In a story that seems almost analogous to the Michael Keaton's career post Batman the official international trailer for his upcoming film Birdman has finally dropped.

Providing a little more info than the teaser did not too long ago we appear to be centred around a washed up superhero franchise actor who is full blown schizophrenic completely losing his shit during his last desperate grab at the limelight.

The supporting cast looks awesome; Edward Norton, Emma Stone, and what appears to be a slightly thinner Zac Galifianakis.

Gotta love an offbeat black comedy centred around a crazy old guy. Check out the trailer below.


No reason boner.



I guess we're all wasting our time with this again. At least it explains our boners. Like this video. 

#noreason #castleawesome


Clowns!


I finally understand why some people are afraid of clowns.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Daniel Avery - Knowing We'll Be Here Video


Daniel Avery has released the next video from his sensual debut LP Drone Logic that blessed our ears in October of last year. This time round in place of the video for "All I Need" aka sex-angst-stylistic-close-up-fest-of-radness we have the closing track "Knowing We'll Be Here".

Get ready for what appears to be a girl drowning hanging out underwater to a dreamy Avery soundscape.




While you're at it check out this fresh Avery mix for Factmag below.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Bojack Horseman Trailer


The digital revolution has brought about some interesting ways in which companies can now get us to watch their shit. One such company winning from the common preference to sit on our asses instead of going to rent out a what the hell is a DVD is Netflix.

Enter stage right; Bojack Horseman
This new adult targeted animated series appears to be based around a washed up 90's TV horse actor who has taken up alcoholism and athazagoraphobia. Castle Awesome welcomes Bojack given the success of adult targeted animation such as Archer, and the new Rick and Morty.

So in the lead as a talking horse, of course is Will Arnett, we also have Jesse Pinkman Aaron Paul as what appears to be the typecast stoner roomie (graciously taking time off from pissing off Xbox one owners.) and there's even some Alison Brie in there along with some other familiar voices that you make recognise in the link below from IGN.


Get around it.

When Video Game Journalism is just Fanboi Tripe!


Video Game Journalism is a very loose term, there isn't much of an editorial standard out there. Today's glorious example of inept reporting come from VideoGamer and their youtube channel VideoGamerTV.

 

Comparison videos aren't new. Serious video game sites have been doing such comparisons for quite some time. That doesn't make it any less stupid.

What makes this particularly obnoxious is the videos narrators acknowledge in the first 30 seconds of the video that their comparisons are unfair.

They then proceed to rant for five minutes about how one version is better and the other, well, it won't ever be able to be up to par.

The narrators dish out some absolute cutting analysis like "It just lacks that shine", or "It just doesn't have as much punch".

I particularly enjoy their incredible insight into Bungies engineering department and how difficult it's going to be for them to bring one of the consoles up to par with the other. Because you know, these guys are fucking geniuses! Never mind there's a video available right now showing said console running at the apparently revered 1080p and 30fps ... But you know, I'm nervous Bungie doesn't have time to achieve that.

Queue FANBOI rage!

Hey, if you're going to deliver video game content, you best avoid acting like a a complete wanker!

... and for the record, here's how you execute a legit graphics comparison video:

 

Friday, August 1, 2014

Ghetto cooking


There are many things that make this new cooking show fantastic, the least of which is its strange insistence on having vertical videos. Bare witness to the birth of a new cooking show. This ghetto chef has some mother fucking sass.


God damnit I don't got no name for it mother fucker, I haven't come up with a fucking name yet, Sheeeeeit

And if you're feeling poor/saving pennies to help fuel your expensive drug habit, here's a quick and easy meal to make. 

Subscribe to Sista Girls's channel here

Thursday, July 31, 2014

George R R Martin look alikes



There seems to be a pretty obvious theme that has been set in the whole TWO HOURS since Castle Awesome has been back satisfying your urge to waste endless time on the Internet (we all know what you're really doing.)

And that, dear humans, is  #NOREASON

WHY?!

Because who needs one. Exactly.

So in the spirit of our revival I present you the following:

Fat idiots George R R Martin look alikes.

Look at this first one. I know right, just a shitty costume but he's totally got the hat and beard right look at the comparison.




Then there's this guy, just another shitty costume. I don't like his beard.




Ok, we're getting better at it now. This guy actually made the effort of stuffing his shirt, because so far people haven't really tried to imitate his obesity. Which is an issue, but I guess that's what happens if you take DECADES to write a goddamn series of books.




Lets take a brief break <-- Mandatory break viewing. Click it.

AND WE'RE BACK


This is probably the only decent one.




He's even got that weird little hat emblem, turtle, pendent, thing, or whatever it is..

This next one I guess kinda looks like a weird version of him, but it could just be a fat dude.




If you squint like Fry you can kinda see it




Then again, I may have it all wrong. If we consult The Holy Gospel of Yahoo Answers maybe it is our rotund fantasy obsessed shut-in that looks like someone else even more famous than he









THAT'S IT!


Congratulations! You've sat through a complete bullshit post that's all in the spirit of the revived Castle Awesome that is sure to bring you about as much pleasure as cross dressing Khal Drogo getting nailed in da butt by a bearded Daenerys Targaryen!




#NOREASON












WE'RE BACK FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON

We have been going on with this silly thing (the Castle) for about 5 years now. With breaks. Lots of breaks. At least 7 breaks. One of the breaks was for a year or so. Much breaks.

Why keep going? I have no idea. For no reason at all i guess.


So we really have no reason but to continue.



Seven people will read up to here



We don't really know what we do here. So if you missed the last five years i'll bring you up to speed. We posted about a vagina music video once. There's a guy who posts about absolutely useless bullshit. We changed our url to a .com and then had it shut down losing years of posts. That's about it. This will be the first post on this incarnation of the Castle for almost two years.


That is all you missed.

Five people will read up to here

So why the fuck should you read Castle Awesome? No reason.



no reason


This is reason enough to read Castle Awesome. Here is a quick guide on the places to take advantage of this sites useless content.

YOU SHOULD READ THE CASTLE WHILST...

  • taking a long and comforting dump
  • eating a sandwich by yourself 
  • on a bus
  • canoeing 
  • filling in time before your imminent death 
  • having to wait quite a while for food in a restaurant and the person opposite you is less interesting than learning about how to perform a rad hand shake in an obscure french film (it's totally worth watching)

Two people will have read down to here. One because they hate all of this, but have had their internet connection severed during the course of reading and this is the only site loaded on their internet browser. Sucks to be you.




WE'LL POST ON...

  • Strange/obscure/shit/blockbuster films
  • The Dark corners of the internet
  • Memes/Trends
  • Tech
  • Triple A and indie games
  • Useless bullshit
  • Records & underground electronic music like this & this.


So please maybe like the fezbook page and get ready for something weird or mildly amusing for every bowel movement. Posts will appear in the next few days, weeks, years. 


This could be the last post ever.





If you made it this far than please accept my gratitude here.


Also this



Monday, October 29, 2012

Monday Massacre - It's Not A Cookie

#Monday #KermitTheFrog #CookieMonster #ItsNotACookie

Happy Monday!
Please do not to murder your co-workers.


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Who the F is U?

@manmakemusic
There is nothing known about 'U'. He/She/They/It just released a 10" on George Fitzgerald's Man Make Music label. Listen to the track 'Eah' below and you'll probably order it immediately here

This is some bodaciously down shit. I'm very very pleased with this sound. All hail 'U'



try on the B1 track below. It's also got that 'what the fuck am i listening to, this is amazing' sound.

JUST GO WITH IT!



Grab a free track of U's here (tis not on the 10")

Monday, October 15, 2012

Safety Not Guaranteed - The Review.

#Safetynotguaranteed #Madmanfilms



How often are you pleasantly surprised by a film? I find that whenever i expect a movie to be great, more often than not it is a flaccid attempt by the writer/director to play on the audiences emotions in an effort to make their film resonate with the viewer.

So when i walk into a film not being able to even remember the title of it, i obviously haven't set my bar very high. My cohort and I were furiously trying to remember the title, "Safety not Guaranteed" it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, yet by the time we left the cinema, i don't think i will ever forget the title of this film again.

Something i find from most of the 2012 films i have watched this year is that they lack heart and genuine emotion, Safety not Guaranteed has it in spades. while i felt that one of the characters was superflous to the story, their own journey was equally as emotional as the main character.

Considering you have probably never heard of most of the actors in this film, it maintains an exceptionally high level of acting, the script never panders to the audience and the emotion is there, take it or leave it.

Basic plot - A somewhat crazy guy places and ad in the classifieds looking for a someone to go on a time traveling adventure with him, safety not guaranteed. (ooooh, they say the title of the film!)

I really don't want to tell you anything more about Safety Not Guaranteed besides go see it, you won't be disappointed.

I give this film 4.5 out of 5.


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Shit Post Sunday - Some Other Time


Lapalux is about to release his 2nd EP 'Some Other Time' on Brainfeeder. It is a beautiful/wondrous/sexy/edible treat. Listen to a few tracks from it below. Then buy it here



download this track for frees here 






Sunday, September 30, 2012

Randomer created 'Daddy Funk'

@RohanRandomer
Randomer is pretty new on the scene (been round a couple of years). He created that super swell remix of Clouds Consciousness track (also an earlier release on Hemlock)........ then THIS!!! 'We Laugh, We Scream' is soon to be released (October 1) on Hemlock. It is INSANE. Acid, Breakbot, twisted DADDY FUNK. That's it. He's created a new genre of dance music.... DADDY FUNK. 

this man is daddy funkin


Boy is this sound a breath of fresh air. Truly boneriffic. BEATBONER of the year below. 


Listen to the whole EP here

BUY IT ON VINYL HERE (I bought it after hearing the second track)





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